This truly is a milestone worthy of noting. Two years of freedom from symptoms of Lyme disease since this past July. Life is such a precious gift and I am very grateful to still be alive and really living. I hope for every single precious person reading these entries that you too discover your hope and light at the end of the tunnel. It can be so isolating to have this disease, so tormenting, so awful in every single way. I salute you for not giving up and fighting the good fight. You can do it. Keep on keeping on.
I went running for the first time in years the other day and boy there were muscles I forgot existed and they each had something to say to me, but here it is two days and a massage later and I have rebounded. The old lyme me would still be suffering untold agonies. For me, this is HUGE. Not only could I run, but I can recover and have a normal inflammation cycle! Victory! I used to LOVE to run. It was great to have something so simple restored back to me.
I am often asked to simplify what I did or do and truly the truth of this whole thing is that there isn’t anything simple about it. It is a lot of work, a lot of effort, a lot of money, a lot of time, a lot of trial and error, a lot of giving up, a lot of gains, a lot of loses, and just simply put…a lot, a lot. I can now look back at the last two years and say, “It is all worth it.”
There is a device called SCIO biofeedback that I am now using and it is a fantastic piece of technology used for stress reduction. It is fun to use on me and others and see the body respond so quickly. I am in training and working on getting my biofeedback technician certification. I just love learning and the fact that I can retain the information without short term memory loss is unbelievably glorious. Sometimes my head feels like it is going to just burst, but I get so excited and before I know it the information has assimilated and I am ready to go for what is next. The human body and mind is undeniably more fantastic than we truly can comprehend. WE limit ourselves by our mindset each and every day and we DON’T have to do that!!!! Agreeing with life, speaking life into what is not, believing, hoping, and trusting are HUGE in this healing journey. Of course, I can’t have an entry without mentioning the act of forgiveness. Most of us are sick because we have stored stress in our vital organs and tissues for way too many years. Who do we need to forgive: God, ourselves, and others. We often fool ourselves into believing we have done that, but the body knows the truth and holds it. Forgiveness is so releasing…a true letting go and trusting that it is taken care of with a divine understanding beyond our ability to fathom. The freedom and hope that replaces what unforgiveness tore asunder is outrageously beneficial in every imaginable way.
Sure, eating fermented foods, easily digestible foods packed full of nutrients, proper rest, hydration, oxygenation, clinical modalities such as massage, chiropractic, and acupuncture, and movement are all still very much a must for maintaining vitality. Each day still presents challenges and I still am in recovery from the years of damage done to my body, but it doesn’t hold me back and keep me from living. I dare to live, to dream, and to help others. It is phenomenal to have that sense of purpose again. I had forgotten what it was like to be able to think beyond the pain.
My mental gymnastics are less difficult now that I am thinking more clearly. It is so freeing to not have so much guilt, panic, and social inadequacies swarming around in my head. Sometimes I just want to go outside and shout, “I AM ALIVE!!!” Okay, I do that sometimes. 🙂
The hardest part for me at this juncture is that I have developed some unhealthy relational practices over the years of tremendous illness and now that I am of sounder mind the perspective has cleared and I am seeing things in a light that I hadn’t noticed before. Unhealthy relationships are severely damaging to the mind, body, soul, and spirit. It seems when we are the most unhealthy is when we seem (generally speaking) to be the most surrounded by these. After some time of not living through the lenses of pain and suffering and insomnia it is almost horrific how I was allowing such damaging relationships into my life. Choice is powerful and I have been exercising it with care, but with intention. I choose life!!!! Join me.
I am getting better by cleaning up from the inside out. This Lyme disease thing is a WHOLE body and OUT of body experience. It is definitely not for the light of heart.
Shalom!!!!!